As long as the first and last letters aren’t scrambled in the mix, your brain can supposedly put the letters together and read “ScribeFire test”.
Hm..
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As some know, ‘Colbert Report’ host Stephan Colbert is running for President in South Carolina. He first announced that he would run as a Republican and Democrat, until he found out the registration fees ($25,000 GOP, $2,500 Democ). Now hes up to no good in the New York Times, and by-golly he did a damn fine job describing the current political scene in our country. I’ll post the whole article, it’s just that good.
A Mock Columnist, Amok
I was in my office, writing a column on the injustice of relative marginal tax rates for hedge fund managers, when I saw Stephen Colbert on TV.
He was sneering that Times columns make good “kindling.” He was ranting that after you throw away the paper, “it takes over a hundred years for the lies to biodegrade.” He was observing, approvingly, that “Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.”
I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to “shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.”
I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)
Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree
I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:
Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.
There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.
So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.
For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.
Or Rudy Giuliani. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to support him because he’s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I’m supposed to support him because he’s legitimately scary.
And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.
Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don’t mean Al Gore (though he’s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don’t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where’s that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)
Others point to my new bestseller, “I Am America (And So Can You!)” noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.
Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: “After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.” On gender: “The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.” On race: “While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.” On the elderly: “They look like lizards.”
Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, “Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?” Let’s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road — or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.
Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans’ nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn’t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don’t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.
Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet — even though it’s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.
What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you — if you have a TV show.
Damn nice huh?
Colbert ’08
Liberal San Francisco Rep. Pete Stark is really showing where he comes from..
Pelosi calls his remarks “inappropriate” and the Right calls for an apology/condemnation and waste even more time in congress.
Last thing I have to show this morning is how pathetic the left is. Before I link the next page, I’d just like to state a few things about todays left and right wings; stereotypically of course
The Left: Liberty over Morality, nitpicks every detail to find the smallest flaw, hippies of the 60′s, try to take every positive from the right.
The Right: Morality over liberty, sticks up for the traditional American/good ‘ol boys, church goers of the 60′s, will never admit to wrong doing.
I could go into this much more but I need to get the leaves blown and grass cut soon. I’ll bash the right tomorrow or Monday, but just to take a few points from the statements above, heres Senator Reid actually trying to take ANY credit for the auction of the Senates letter to Clear Channel bashing Limbaugh’s “Phony soldiers” statement.
HEY LOOK I DID EVERYTING FOR TEH AUCTION
I love blogs, I can just switch my thinking from one topic to the next and ignore any sort of structure 
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“MOSCOW (Reuters) – President Vladimir Putin warned the United States on Thursday that Russia could take retaliatory measures if Washington failed to take heed of its concerns over a missile defense shield in Europe…”
So, according to Deputy Prime Minister Ivanov in a 3hr public Q&A Session: If U.S. puts missile defense system in Poland and Czech Republic, they will respond by arming weapons in Kaliningrad – the farther west post of Russia.
Bush says it’s in case “rogue nations” (Iran and North Korea) decide to attack.
North Korea is disarming its nuke program.
Iran’s President wants a nuke program for peaceful energy research. But he has also said there are no homosexuals in Iran and he wants to wipe Israel off the face of the earth.
I don’t know what to think right now, except when do we get a 3hour public Q&A session with our politicians? I wish they’d listen to us over lobbyists
After a nice 3 1/2 drive I popped on the news hoping to relax. I found the usual. 2 Dems fighting with 2 GOP’ers. I sat there drinking some vernors listening to the usual talking points on Iraq and wondered if any new ones had been founded. Finally, a spokesperson for the anti-war group code pink came on and it caught me eye (ARrRRrRrr…).
So, Code Pink defaced and protested a Marine recruiting office in Berkley. They don’t support the war but support the troops and our freedoms blah blah, the usual saying pro/anti-war groups adhere to. But I just have one question (Not do you want the US to lose in Iraq – thats redundant). Isn’t the military voluntary? Are you seeing recruiters lined up outside screaming “JOIN US!!!~1!!!”. The recruiters I’ve talked to are most of the time completely honest. They give you information your requesting and they do not claim to predict the future. They don’t know where your going and they don’t know when or if your going. They are their to recruit for the military and get enlisted citizens ready for BCT. Most of us know that we are in a war (derka derk). I would hope that a person going to a recruiting office would expect to be involved with amount troops overseas and how long they’ve been there.
Just to get on the civil rights soap box again. Aren’t they violating the recruiters right to free speech?
And just to bash whatever city it was again (I think San Francisco), if you will not allow recruiters, you will not receive federal funding.
Stepping off the soapbox, I love it up here. It’s so quiet, its deafening. [cliche]
I can almost hear myself think, which is a huge change from downstate. It’s peaceful up here. I need to get upstate more often.
Sharpton and Jackson are already on their way, so don’t worry kids, this woman’s civil rights will not be in vain.
http://www.breitbart.tv/html/6414.html
The girl was stopped for violating the city’s curfew law. The officer writes in the police report that at one point, the girl “clamped down on my hand/wrist and I felt immediate pain shot up my arm. The pain was shocking, and I thought the suspect was going to extract a large piece of flesh from my hand.” The police chief weighed in on the matter. “It is shocking to see that a police officer has had to use that level of force against a child. But … my opinion is he responded appropriately and in accordance with our policies,” he said.
Now, i’m posting this for a few reasons. [sarcasm]
To backtrack to the Duke Witch-hunt, I mean rape case, I mean I can’t wait for the civil rights case.
Lacrosse Players File Lawsuit Against City of Durham
Cleared Duke Lacrosse Players Seek $30M From Durham
Lawyers Discuss Potential Duke Lacrosse Civil Rights Lawsuit
Since I don’t post on my clone blogs, I just have to say it one more time.
DOUBLE-STANDARD
SELECTIVE-OUTRAGE
Funny how the mainstream media doesn’t report on this, except maybe a 4sec blurb on the terms of “Hey, btw… x and b happened.” But then again, a DA’s under fire, a black girl lied and 3 white male students we’re demonized, but why would they ever report something fair?
It’s times like these I enjoy Fox News, Drudgereport, RCP and Yahoo over the rest.
Until next time..
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test post – just a to-do list for this week
Saturday: NCLB Act Rought Draft & Read Chapt 3 – Highschool in RC Book
Sunday: Outline Chapters 1-5 Poli Sci – Test review questions, Read through A&P – Muscular and Skeletal system
Monday: A&P – Muscular and Skeletal system review, Some Soc work.
Tuesday: A&P Test and do Sociology project with Schilling
Wednesday: Write Final Draft for NCLB Act & review PSci notes
Thursday: Poli Sci Test? Revise Final draft if needed.
Friday: Turn in Final Draft
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